The Same Stupid Thing Every Day

Every day on the way to work I'm wondering if I'm on time. Along the expressway near the exit to work, I look at the electronic signs to see how I'm doing.

And every time, I see the exact same numbers and I remember I'm an idiot. Why do I remember this?

Because the signs show "$39.99." They're not clocks. They're hotel price rates. But I keep thinking they're clocks and each time I pass I look to see what time it is.

God, I hope other people have these kinds of moments.

Why did it have to be snakes?

Yesterday, while walking, I almost stepped on a grass snake. I did this Flamingo stanch while it slithered away. Unfortunately, it left before the person behind me saw it.

So if they were paying any attention at all, I was just being a weird person. But I do that a lot. And later I almost got hit with a basketball.

Today, I walked next to another snake. Fortunately, I saw it just in time to do a sidestep. Less craziness to witness… unless you caught the Chihuahua that apparently had it in for me.

I’m beginning to think maybe nature just wants me to stay inside.

The Cynic in ME

I’m watching a show about the newlywed who disappeared from a cruise. Witnesses say the couple left the club at different times. The wife was found on the opposite end of the boat slumped next to a door labeled for crew member. She says she blacked out and doesn’t remember anything. Her groom was never found. But blood was.

People are morons for drinking so much. And the cruise industry gets away with breaking lots of laws.

But that’s not what gets my attention. I watch too many of these shows. I keep hearing people talk about how much in the love the couple was. Yet in every photo of their picture perfect wedding and the video of the wedding, they weren’t looking at each other. They smiled and posed wonderfully. But I don’t know… that seems off and distracts me from the blood evidence.